Keep Calm and Stoic On: 12 Time-Tested Rules for Living A Good Life

Look, we all know life can be a mess. Between doomscrolling through terrible news, dealing with that coworker who just won't stop microwaving fish in the office kitchen, and trying to figure out why our phone keeps suggesting we buy cat furniture (I don't even have a cat), it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But here's the thing: some really smart people figured out how to deal with life's chaos about 2,000 years ago, and their advice is still surprisingly on point.

I'm talking about the Stoics – and no, they weren't just a bunch of old guys who never smiled. They were practical philosophers who came up with some seriously useful strategies for living well. So let's break down their ancient wisdom into 12 rules that actually make sense for our modern lives.

1. Control What You Can, Let Go of What You Can't

You know that moment when you're stuck in traffic, late for a meeting, and your blood pressure is shooting through the roof? Yeah, the Stoics had something to say about that. As Epictetus put it (and I'm paraphrasing here): "Dude, figure out what you can and can't control, then stop freaking out about the stuff you can't."

Think about it: You can't control the traffic, but you can control:

• When you leave home

• Your response to the situation

• Whether you use this time to listen to that podcast you've been meaning to check out

• If you let your boss know you're running late

Everything else? Let it go. Seriously, let it go. Your stress about it won't make that guy in the Prius drive any faster.

2. Accept Reality (But Don't Be a Pushover)

Listen to Epictetus on this topic: "Don't expect things to happen as you wish. Wish them to happen as they do happen."

Now, this doesn't mean you should just lie down and accept everything life throws at you. It means start with reality as it is, not as you wish it was. It's like trying to navigate using Google Maps – you need to know your actual location first, not where you wish you were.

For example: Your job isn't perfect? Cool, accept that reality. Now you can either: a) Work to improve it b) Start looking for a new one c) Change your perspective about it

But wishing it was different without accepting where you are first? That's like trying to navigate from an imaginary starting point. Good luck with that.

3. Remember You're Going to Die (This Is A Good Thing)

Okay, this sounds dark, but stick with me. Marcus Aurelius, who was literally running the Roman Empire, would tell himself: "You could leave life right now." Not to be morbid, but to cut through the BS and focus on what actually matters.

Next time you're freaking out about something, ask yourself: "Will this matter on my deathbed?" If the answer is no (and the answer is likely no), maybe don't let it ruin your day. If the answer is yes, then hey, at least you know you're worrying about something worthwhile.

4. Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are

The Stoics were big on personal excellence, but let's make it relatable. You know how your dog (or cat, or goldfish, or that houseplant you haven't killed yet) sees the best in you? Try to actually be that person.

This means:

• Taking the high road (even when the low road looks really tempting)

• Doing the right thing when no one's watching

• Not posting that angry comment on social media (you know the one)

• Following through on your commitments to yourself

5. Turn Lemons Into Philosophical Lemonade

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

That's Marcus Aurelius being fancy, but basically: Every obstacle is an opportunity in disguise.

Got laid off? Maybe it's time for that career change you've been too scared to make. Relationship ended? Time to work on being the person you want to be with. Phone died? Congratulations, you've got a forced digital detox.

6. Practice Gratitude (Without Being Annoyingly Positive)

The Stoics knew that gratitude isn't just some fluffy self-help concept – it's a reality check for your brain's negativity bias. But you don't need to start a gratitude journal or post #blessed on Instagram.

Just take a moment each day to think: "What's actually going right?" Maybe your coffee was perfect this morning. Maybe your Netflix didn't buffer during the good part. Maybe your plants are still alive. It all counts.

7. Live According to Nature (No, Not Just By Eating Organic)

When the Stoics talked about living according to nature, they weren't telling you to go full cottagecore on Instagram. They meant understanding your place in the bigger picture and not fighting against reality.

Modern version:

• Accept that humans need sleep (sorry, hustle culture)

• Recognize that relationships matter

• Understand that actions have consequences

• Remember that change is constant (yes, even your favorite app's interface will change again)

8. Judge Actions, Not Aesthetics

In an age where everyone's trying to curate their perfect Instagram feed, the Stoics would probably roll their eyes. They were all about judging actions, not appearances.

That friend who posts daily gym selfies? Cool, but how do they treat people? That influencer with the perfect morning routine? Nice, but what do they actually contribute to the world? Your own social media presence? Ask yourself what you're really trying to prove.

9. Talk Less, Say More

Hot take: Most of us talk too much and say too little. Before you post that status update or jump into that argument, ask yourself:

• Does this need to be said?

• Does this need to be said by me?

• Does this need to be said by me right now?

If you can't answer yes to all three, maybe keep that thought to yourself.

10. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

The Stoics were into voluntary discomfort, like taking cold showers or sleeping on hard floors. The modern equivalent might be:

• Actually reading the terms and conditions

• Having that difficult conversation you've been avoiding

• Setting boundaries with your phone

• Saying no to things you don't want to do

• Going to the gym when Netflix is calling

11. Do an Evening Review (Like Social Media, But for Your Soul)

Before bed, take five minutes to ask:

• What went well today?

• What could I have done better?

• What did I learn?

• What am I going to do differently tomorrow?

It's like an Instagram story of your day, but actually meaningful.

12. Be Useful to Others

The Stoics believed that humans are meant to help each other out. In today's world, that might mean:

• Actually helping your friend move (not just liking their "moving day" post)

• Sharing your knowledge without expecting anything in return

• Being kind to service workers

• Contributing to your community in some way

• Supporting causes you care about with more than just social media posts

The Bottom Line

Here's the thing about these rules: They're simple, but they're not easy. You won't perfect them overnight, and that's okay. The goal isn't to become some enlightened guru who never gets angry at slow WiFi. The goal is to suck a little less at life each day, to be a bit more resilient, and to find some peace in a world that seems increasingly chaotic.

Start with one rule that resonates with you. Practice it. Mess up. Try again. That's what the Stoics would do – minus the part where they could post about it on Twitter.

Remember: The ancient Stoics weren't perfect either. They just had the advantage of not having to deal with social media notifications while trying to be philosophical. We've got it harder, but hey, at least we have better coffee.