Getting Started Series Week 1: Control What You Can, Let Go of What You Can't

Welcome to the Simply Stoicism Getting Started Series!

Look, I get it. The word "philosophy" probably makes you think of bearded dudes in togas debating the meaning of meaning while the real world burns. But here's the thing: Stoicism is different. It's like that friend who skips the BS and tells you exactly what you need to hear – usually while you're having a meltdown about something you can't control. (More on that in a minute.)

Over the next 4 weeks, we're breaking down Stoicism into bite-sized, actually-useful lessons. No togas required. No ancient Greek to memorize. Just practical wisdom for modern chaos.

Here's your roadmap:

Week 1: Control What You Can, Let Go of What You Can't

Week 2: Your Feelings Are Not Facts (The Stoic Guide to Emotional Intelligence)

Week 3: The Stoic Time Machine (Why Thinking About Death Makes Life Better)

Week 4: Your Stoic Starter Kit (Daily Practices That Actually Work)

Why these four? Because they're the foundation everything else builds on. Master these, and you'll handle life's chaos like Marcus Aurelius handling a pandemic (spoiler: he did it pretty well, and without Netflix or Zoom).

💡 The Big Stoic Truth Bomb of the Week

Picture this: Your morning has been a highlight reel of Murphy's Law:

Your coffee maker decides to commit suicide right when you need it most

Traffic isn't just bad – it's "questioning all your life choices" bad

Your presentation crashes right as the CEO walks in (and yes, you tested it three times)

Your coworker is now taking credit for your project while you silently plan their social destruction

Sound familiar? Here's where most advice goes wrong. They'll tell you to "stay positive" or "everything happens for a reason." Cool. Very helpful. Much wisdom.

But the Stoics? They're about to drop a truth bomb that will actually change your life: You have both more and less control than you think.

Here's how our guy Epictetus put it:

"Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinions, desires, aversions, and, in a word, everything of our own doing."

Look, Epictetus wasn't just dropping philosophical fortune cookies here. He was onto something huge: Most of our daily stress comes from trying to control things we simply can't. We're like a dog barking at the ocean, thinking we can stop the waves.

🎯 How to Actually Use This (Because Philosophy Without Action is Just Fancy Complaining)

1. The Quick Control Check

When something pisses you off, ask yourself one simple question:

"Do I have direct control over this?"

If yes: Cool, make an action plan

If no: You're trying to control the ocean. Stop barking.

2. The Morning Mind Sweep

During your morning routine (or while hiding from your coworkers in the bathroom), try this:

List 3 things you're worried about

Label each "In My Control" or "Not My Control"

Only plan actions for the "In My Control" stuff

Notice how much lighter you feel

3. The Circle of Control Exercise

The moment you feel overwhelmed:

Draw a circle (or use the Notes app if you're not feeling artistic)

Inside it, write what you can control right now

Outside it goes everything else

Work inside the circle. The outside stuff? That's just weather.

Real-Life Examples of What You (Actually) Control:

✅ In Your Control:

Your responses to situations

How prepared you are

Your boundaries

Where you put your attention

Your priorities

How you treat others

❌ Not in Your Control:

Other people's opinions

The weather

The past

The economy

Whether your cat appreciates your sacrifices

That thing that happened in middle school

📖 Story Time: The Stoic Who Lost Everything (And Won at Life Anyway)

Picture this: You're a respected philosophy teacher. You've got a sweet gig, students love you, life is good. Then boom – you're arrested, convicted of a crime you didn't commit, and exiled from your home. Everything you built? Gone.

This actually happened to Musonius Rufus (think of him as the Stoic Navy SEAL instructor). But instead of plotting revenge or falling into a Netflix-and-ice-cream spiral, he supposedly said: "Is being in exile stopping me from being just, courageous, or self-controlled? No? Then I haven't lost anything that truly matters."

Savage, right?

He understood something most of us forget: While he couldn't control his circumstance, he had complete control over how he showed up in that circumstance. He went on to teach philosophy in exile, influencing a generation of leaders.

The modern equivalent would be getting fired, then starting a wildly successful company from your garage while your ex-boss watches your TED Talk.

🔑 Why This Changes Everything

When you really get this – like, really get it – three things happen:

Your stress levels drop (because you stop fighting unwinnable battles)

Your effectiveness increases (because all your energy goes to things you can actually influence)

You become impossible to manipulate (because you're clear about your territory)

🤔 The Big Takeaway

You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf.

This isn't about giving up or being passive. It's about being strategic with your energy. Think of it like a video game: You've got limited power – do you want to waste it hitting invincible enemies, or use it to advance to the next level?

Your Weekend Challenge

For the next 24 hours, before reacting to any annoyance, ask yourself: "Is this actually in my control?" Then act accordingly.

Try it with:

That driver who clearly got their license from a cereal box

Your partner's mood

The weather ruining your plans

Your coworker's irritating habit

The WiFi deciding to throw a tantrum

Questions to Ponder

What would change in your life if you stopped trying to control things you can't and focused all that energy on what you can?

What's one thing you're trying to control right now that's actually outside your circle of influence?

How much of your current stress comes from trying to control the uncontrollable?

Coming Up Next Week

We're diving into why your feelings are lying to you (and why that's actually great news). Trust me, it's going to be good.

Remember: Control isn't about having power over everything. It's about having power over the right things.